It's an ER kind of day

So much of my life is centered around the health, or lack thereof, of my husband. How we travel, if we travel, when we eat, what we eat, what shows we watch...the list goes on.

Today is an ER day. John's health over the past week has deteriorated so badly that it was time to have him checked out for blood levels, hydration, infection. Anybody who's ever been to an ER will tell you, it's a lifetime of waiting. Thank God for the Internet and its accessibility in the hospital.

When you have a loved one who is seriously ill, you learn to gauge yourself. One day at a time, never set anything in stone, be prepared for the roller coaster ride that his illness is. Try not to get on the roller coaster with him.

That's so much easier said than done. When he's calling me names, that's not hard. When he says I've killed the children, that's not hard. But when he accuses me of not caring for him or about him, that really pisses me off.

So, the calmness of the ER is not a bad thing for me today. Compared to almost having hot coffee poured on me this a.m., I'll take it. It's all a matter of perspective, no?