For those of you who have read my blog in the past and are not aware, I am sorry to tell you that my sweet boy passed away January 2, 2012. That's 1-2-12. Just keep in mind, his birthday was 11/11/11. He died two days after his Twins Calendar ran out.
His last 6 months were not pleasant, yet had incredible moments of sweetness to them. His ability to communicate was gone, for the most part. His violence would come and go. His ability to stand up deteriorated. He was down to 130 pounds. And yet, we held hands. When I would get there, the look of relief on his face that the cavalry had come melted my heart. All of the things that used to drive me nuts I can no longer remember. He became my sweet boy.
His funeral was uplifting for me. We celebrated his life. It was not a tragic death, it was horribly sad that he passed, but not tragic. John had a shirt that said "I'm on Island Time". After he passed, I put a tag on it that read "John is on Island Time". And that's how I think of him. At our cabin on the island...taking care of the spooks up there. ;)
So, here's what I will leave my blog with. The night before my dad passed away, I sat in their living room which overlooked the Minnesota River Valley. It was hot. About 100 degrees outside. And I asked God for a sign that all would be OK. And a bat came outside the window and hovered.
Well, I needed a sign this time, too and asked for it again. And again. Nothing. Until last night. It's time to pull the plug on the outdoor Christmas lights according to our condo association. So, without looking to carefully, I reached into the outdoor electrical box and felt something squishy. And shrieked. It was a dead bat..although I didn't know it was dead at the time.
My first reaction was "Where the hell is John when I need him...he'd take care of this for me." He'd say - "wait until morning, it'll be gone and you can tighten that box up." And then it hit me. It's too cold for the bats to swoop and hover. But somehow, with the weather warming, one crawled into a space that John knew I'd have to touch. Asshole.
So, my next question becomes why am I being sent bats? I am the most afraid of bats of any living thing unless they're sleeping. Because, my dear girl....you need not be afraid of what scares you the most. You are being taken care of and watched over. And it will be alright.
