It's a ANSWER THE CHICKEN PHONE kind of day

Maybe one of the dumber things I've done is bring him to Dian's farm yesterday. She's not here and will probably not have me back - I hit my car with the golf cart and rode the John Deere with a totally flat tire. John was talking to a chair that nobody was sitting in and not making a wit of sense anyway.

So, I came to the conclusion in my head at church yesterday, what are you saving him for? Why are you afraid to leave him alone? What's the worst that could happen? You're getting ready to put him in a nursing home and you want him perfect for that? Are you afraid of using him up?

I do that with food sometimes. I get something really special and I'm afraid to use it all up. I had a big can of Ghiradelli cocoa that I brought back from San Francisco in the early 80's. It was a wonderful trip that John and I had taken - his was actually a business JUNKET so I got a lot of time to myself. There was about 2 cups left in it and I couldn't use the end of it because then it would be gone. I finally threw it when we moved two years ago. I save stuff because I'm attached to a wonderful memory of it - I do it with food, and now I'm doing it with John.

Of course, I do it out of love for him. I don't want him hurt and sad and confused. But he's already sad and confused. So, in a few minutes, I'm going to fix some breakfast and head outside. Ricky, the rooster, has been crowing non-stop since day break. The last time John was here, Ricky was crowing outside of the bedroom window in the midst of an anxiety attack John was having and he wanted me to "Answer the damn chicken phone". Hang on Ricky.