It was a "Susan has left the building" kind of day

Ahhh, how wonderful to not worry about John all night long and to get up and take care of me and the dog.

I took only one phone call yesterday - sent the rest to messages. The call I took was from John at the hospital He was lost and wanted me to come and pick him up. Sorry sweetie.

Was this a hard thing to do? Not as hard as I thought it would be. I said a prayer for the nurses and for him, in that order. Had a 2nd beer. Went to bed.

One would think that the trip to Italy would still be carrying me through. Probably it would if John were still in the same condition I left him in when I went to Italy. But this last month has been such a 180 degree spin...and keep spinning...one moment up, then down, then up....Oh wait - that's the roller coaster ride in Lewy Land. I thought I recognized that condition.

These blogs have been my way of thinking through what is going on. They help me focus so I know what to ask for in strength and courage and wisdom. Some would say it's prayer, some would say it's meditation, some would say it's just the brain sorting things out. The odd thing is, I've never been a person to journal. Why is this so much easier?

One thing that is clear though. What ever you call this, and I'm calling it prayer on the keyboard, the answers come. They change sometimes from day to day, hour to hour, but the answers do come. One just has to sit still and listen for them.